Companion and Brother
by giacinta
Summary: Some brotherly fluff. Dean contemplates his life without Sam. Thanks to all who have read or reviewed past stories. :)


Companion and Brother.

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The human brain was a marvellous machine, Dean mused as he stood waiting for his food at the counter; it could multi-task like nobody's business!

A part of his mind was admiring the luscious piece of womanhood who was sending him back equally appreciative glances from beneath her long eyelashes as she filled his order; another section was reminding him of how friggin' hungry he was, another was going over the details of the hunt they were on, while the remaining brain cells were on permanent red alert for any danger that might lie in wait for his six-foot plus, dangerous, scary, expert hunter of a brother, who at this moment was sitting hunched at a table looking like the most harmless kitten on the planet.

X

How his brother managed to look like an innocuous five-year old when he was anything but, always amazed Dean; or maybe it was just his memories of when Sam had really _**been**_ that floppy-haired kid kicking in when he looked at him, he thought wistfully.

He had only a few hazy memories of his 'normal' family life as a child, before the nursery fire on the second of November 1983 put an end to that!

He glanced back at his brother who was reading a local paper he had picked up outside the diner, and as if he sensed Dean's eyes on him he looked up, his glance meeting his big brother's, his mouth curling up in a half-smile.

Dean held his gaze for a moment, snorted, shook his head and turned back to the counter.

They had always been strangely attuned to each other, even as kids, but now he wondered if there was some psychic link beginning to form between them. It wasn't that uncommon; long time married couples sometimes developed it too, but he was so not going there!

X

Sam had been a part of his life since Dean had been four years old; he couldn't contemplate his life without him.

He had experienced a few different realities like the Djinn-induced one where his Mom had never died and Sam had been this preppy law student with the beautiful Jessica hanging on to his arm. It had given him a glimpse into how things might have been between him and Sam if the close bond forged by hunting had never formed, but it had only been a dream world and Dean had still retained all his memories of their hunting life, with which to compare, so it wasn't a true example.

He had also had a taste of the regular suburban 'family life' with Lisa and Ben that Sam had made him promise to go live, but there too it had been distorted; his pain for Sam's exile in the Cage, interfering with everything.

Not to mention the world that Zachariah had plunked them in, where they had been memory-wiped but had gravitated towards each other regardless; or the douchey Universe where they were actors in their own life story.

Each of those realities had taught him something, but Sam had been present in them all; but what if Sammy had never existed? What would his life have been like then?

Would John and Mary have had another child, different from Sammy; a Donny or a Fred or a girl maybe, a tousled-headed little cutie; or perhaps Dean would have remained an only child; a Dean Winchester without a sibling, a blasphemy in any universe!

He looked back over at Sam, the thought of never having known him, seen him grow-up, wiped his snotty nose or read him stories; protected and comforted him when he skinned his knees or had nightmares, the shared laughter, the pranking and even the tears, twisted agonizingly through his gut with an piercing sense of loss.

Again Sam glanced up from his reading, and Dean's gut righted itself.

Sammy was here, he was real; if Dean was the man he was, it was because Sam had been part of his life. through the good and through the bad.

X

This time it was Sam who rolled his eyes and snorted at his brother's continual checking-up on him.

Yep; the universe was as it should be; Dean refused to contemplate any other without his brother in it.

X

"That's twenty-five dollars, sir," the girl smiled warmly, as she handed him the food.

Dean gave her his second-best pick-up smile, turned away and walked over to where the only companion he desired on this lonely tortuous road he walked sat waiting; Sammy, his little brother.

X

XXX The enD XXXXX


End file.
